Fan Mail

In which the narrator responds to a journalist's vitriol.

To Ms Geraldine Bartleby,

Thank you so much for your lovely, insightful letter, really quite a pleasure to think that you, a perfect stranger (to myself as well as to most of the literate world) would take the time out of your busy schedule of stubbing-out menthols on kittens, to write such a thorough whatever that was. Extremely impressed by the levels …